so. uuhhh. christian just left. which means this probably isnt the ideal time to write a happy blog post about his visit but here we are anyway.

im going to try to write this like i dont know he’ll eventually read it. and maybe he wont, im sure he doesnt like check it daily for updates or anything. anyway.

it was a really good visit, i think. at least it was a really good first meeting. his plane(s) got all sorts of fucked up and delayed so he ended up getting here thursday morning instead of wednesday night. the airport was the most nerve inducing awkward completely adorable thing i’ve experienced in a long time. I didnt know where i was going when i got there because the bus gets in on a lower level than anything else is on (who knew that existed?) and i ended up signing up to get information about a credit card in order to get directions.  on the upside, the women there thought i might be 21, so that was a decent ego boost before going to meet someone for the first time. they were very nice. i actually have no regrets about that interaction, but i havent received the junk mail yet. ANYWAY. I go there and awkwardly paced around for a 10 minutes and then people started getting off the plane and then there was the very surreal moment where i could see him but he wasnt actually to me yet. and then there was the hugs and the real and the smells good. im pretty sure i was shaking but he was definitely shaking so i felt better. he kissed me on the escalator. and we cuddled and kissed and whispered to each other the whole bus ride home. it was overall pretty adorable.

we came home, spent some time in bed and then went the coastal which actually kind of sucked. note to self, do not order off the lunch menu. felt a little bad we didnt order something more delicious. went home, spent more time watching movies and making out and snuggling in bed. ordered christian his first chicken shawarma, which is always delicious. then, as promised, we went to finding dorey. have an adorable photo:

2016-07-14 21.35.41

it didnt really feel like meeting a stranger, which was good. i was worried it would feel like a stranger. i was essentially going on a three day pof date that you couldnt get out of if it went terribly. luckily it went better than pof dates do haha.

Friday morning we woke up late and he made me pumpkin pancakes, also as promised, and looked extremely hot while doing so. again, have a picture:

2016-07-15 12.43.39

(this is basically the only place these pictures are ever allowed to be seen, so im going to post a bunch)

we walked to the liquor store and stopped in at lion and bright on the way. then we got day drunk and high and hung out in bed. watched a lot of movies and snuggled. ordered the halifax pizza place classic of donairs, poutine and newfie fries for him to try.  the poutine was pretty shit though but we’ll ignore that.

Saturday we actually got up at a decent hour (well like, decent for a normal person. he weirdly mostly put me on his sleep schedule while he was here), walked to tim’s where we got incredibly sweet drinks (not good, you fail me tims.) we snuggled and watched movies for awhile the  we went to the waterfront to explore a bit of the touristy stuff of halifax/make sure he actually saw the ocean while here.we got ice cream and walked the boardwalk. stopped in at the stubborn goat beer garden where we apparently sat in the wrong place but oh well. have another picture:

2016-07-16 15.13.56

got him an east coast lifestyle shirt because it was only super nova scotian thing i could think of that also doesnt identify itself as being from canada so he could actually where it later. i got a sunburn like the pale white girl that i am.

came home and hung out in bed for a bit and then went to mother’s for fancy pizza, then spent most of the night snuggling/watching movies/napping/etc. until her had to go to the airport. have a sort of terrible picture:

2016-07-16 22.14.57

then we took a cab to the airport and he left, somewhat awkwardly. and i took the bus back to town and then cabbed home and took a nap. so here we are. all three of his planes seem to have actually gone as scheduled so he should be home soon.


so thats the recap.

he said i love you a bunch, held my hand in public even though i looked like hell, we had a lot of sex and things seemed like they went well? im still waiting for the other shoe to drop because its who i am. and it might happen. probably wont, but it might.

it felt weird sending him home. like i know this was just a secret vacation for him but it was my actual life so. i dont know. i was just returning him to his real life with his house and his wife and his pets. like you return a library book that was never really yours.

so. overall the trip was really good in and of itself but it was also a little harsh for me in that it really exposed the bubble. like he can be part of my life but ill never really be part of his. which ive known from the beginning but i like to try to ignore. he says he’ll come back but i dont know if he really will. i feel less like we’re together and more like a casual side fling. except he flew a couple thousand miles to be here so i just dont know. i told nats about the married poly thing (not the internet thing) and she judged me i think.

the bubble was really nice though. id live there if i could.




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