Matthew has been my therapist for 9 years. maybe 10. i get mad at him and sometimes i wanted to get a new therapist like sometimes you want new friends. he was my saving grace for many years of my life and probably the only reason im not dead. the reason im not dead.

i had my last appointment with matthew on dec 8th.

the last appointment there will ever be.

he moved to ottawa awhile ago, ive been doing skype sessions, but he did not renew his nova scotia license. so thats it. gone.

i made my last appointment just to say good bye. honestly things have been pretty fine for awhile now. but i feel very gutted about this whole situation. especially now that my first potential new therapist has called and wants me to book an intake appointment. i dont want this. i dont want to do this again. im not sure i even need to anymore but at the same time im used to having someone one call for when shit hits the fan, which it does inevitably. im worried about this particular practice because they seem to just do targeted therapy sessions and then send you on your way which im not really looking for. who knows.

matthew knew me better than anyone else probably ever will. its a bit like losing a best friend. like hes dead now. this is harder than i expected.